CB: Tales Of The Jedi: The Fall Of The Sith Empire #1-5

FallOfTheSithEmpire

More disappointment in the Old Republic Era, when will it ever end!

Cover Art By: Duncan Fegredo
Art By: David Jacob Beckett, Bill Black, David Carrasco Jr., Mark G. Heike, Ray Murtaugh & Willie Schubert
Written By: Kevin J. Anderson

I find myself without a single positive thing to say in regards to Tales Of The Jedi: The Fall Of The Sith Empire. Okay, maybe one positive, it is cool once again to see an undeveloped part of the timeline given some love, but that’s it, that’s all the positive I can muster. With that being the case I’m going to break from my usual review format and instead do this quasi-bullet point style. I won’t always employ this review method, but from time to time I will use it when the material didn’t give me much to think about or write about and thus I feel the need to offer at least something different to my readers.

–What is up with the full names? No one ever says, “Hey, Memit, how are you doing?’ Nope, it’s always “Memit Nadill, what will we do!” No one talks like that, no one, it’s so irritating to read people talking this way in passage after passage.

–I have a second positive I forgot about, the art. It’s still not great, but it is greatly improved, up until the last issue that is. Once we reach the last issue the climatic battle is muddled and hard to decipher, but previous to that the art was much better than in Tales Of The Jedi: The Golden Age Of The Sith.

–In a series full of idiots Ludo Kressh manages to take the cake. Not only is he a simpering wimp, but he gets his ass kicked every time he is on the page. He confronts Naga Sadow, yells a little bit and then is supposedly killed. Later he returns to once again confront Sadow, and once again Kressh is easily dispatched of and this time actually killed. My eighty one year old grandmother has more fight and intelligence in her than Kressh, and he’s supposed to be a Sith Lord. He may be a Sith Lord, but he’s certainly not a good character and ends up a giant waste of time.

–The Sith reach Coruscant, the Coruscanti have no idea who or what the Sith are, yet before they have seen a single one of the Sith they are running away screaming that the dropships are full of monsters. Way to make the Republic soldiers look like total wimps Kevin J. Anderson, they are scared of an unknown enemy who they haven’t laid their eyes upon. I’m surprised the Republic lasted as long as they did, based on Anderson’s work one can only view the Republic as a bunch of sissified morons.

–Oh, but the fighting nonsense gets even better. The ultimate way to show a raging battle is apparently to have your Jedi, all four of them, make idiotic proclamations while engaged in battle. Nothing screams comic book made for eight year old’s like heroic characters yelling out grating statements while supposedly in the middle of battle.

–Let me get this straight, Jori Daragon, an untrained hyperspace navigator who one series ago couldn’t handle herself with a couple of street thugs is now hardcore enough to take out an entire group of Massassi warriors all by her lonesome? I don’t even have to say anything else, the stupidity of that notion speaks for itself.

–The stupid parade keeps on going however, as brilliant strategist Naga Sadow leaves an untrained hyperspace navigator and general moron in Gav Daragon in charge of his attacking fleet. I honestly can’t wrap my head around what Sadow hoped to accomplish with such a ploy, it boggles the mind, that’s how stupid it is.

–The character of Ooroo is dopey enough to begin with, hey the Sith have a head in a jar so let’s give the Jedi a brain in a crystal thingie, that’s bound to be awesome! Guess what Anderson, assuming you are the one responsible for the abomination, it’s isn’t awesome, it’s more idiocy from this series. The lowered intelligence doesn’t end there unfortunately, as the great Jedi master unleashes the toxic fumes of his atmosphere in the wide open outdoors to kill the Massassi warriors around him! That’s right, in the wide open battlefield his toxic fumes managed to somehow overpower the rest of the atmosphere and kill all the Massassi around him, without the Massassi reacting in any way. My brain, it hurts.

–My biggest complaint I must lodge against Tales Of The Jedi: The Fall Of The Sith Empire is how tiny it is. This is the Sith Empire versus the Galactic Republic, it’s supposed to be huge and galaxy spanning. Only it isn’t, the way it is written it comes across like a few tiny inconsequential skirmishes. There’s no impact from what happens, the galaxy doesn’t care, and why should I?

I actually liked breaking down Tales Of The Jedi: The Fall Of The Sith Empire bullet point style, let me know what you think. If enough people dug the change-up in style I may employ it more often. The bullet points should be enough, but just to make it clear, Tales Of The Jedi: The Fall Of The Sith Empire is a horrendous work of fiction. The writing is terrible and mind numbingly stupid, no, not just the writing, that could be said of the entire experience. Get your run down of these events from The New Essential Chronology or The Essential Atlas and avoid reading Tales Of The Jedi: The Fall Of The Sith Empire, it hurt my brain and I have no doubt it will hurt yours as well.

Rating:

F

Cheers,
Bill

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