What exactly is hard contact anyways? Is that the sort of thing that happens when I say something inappropriate to a woman and she slaps me?

Cover Art By: Greg Knight
Written By: Karen Traviss

And with this I believe I have hit upon my first hot button topic of the Expanded Universe, Karen Traviss. I’ll get my viewpoint out of the way, right away, I’m not a Traviss fan. I don’t have a problem with the form of her writing like some do, I have the same problems that the majority share, albeit in a different way. I agree with her views on the Jedi for the most part, but I don’t like the way she goes about presenting her views. By vilifying the Jedi to the extreme that Ms. Traviss does, she actually does more harm than good to the anti-Jedi cause, she makes the Jedi sympathetic because she tries to paint them in such a negative light. I’m also not a fan of her pro-Mandalorian stance, once again it’s not that I disagree with her view, rather it’s the heavy handed way she goes about presenting that view. By turning the Mandos into a god like race that can do no wrong she doesn’t have the effect on me that she desires, I end up disliking the Mandos a fair deal because of how obviously she tries to make them the best in the universe at everything. So yeah, I’m not the biggest Karen Traviss fan and for the sake of honesty and full disclosure I felt you needed to know that before we moved on.

Thankfully my dislike of Ms. Traviss has little to do with Republic Commando: Hard Contact. This is a corker of a novel, working in just about every way that one can ask a self-contained Expanded Universe novel to work. Republic Commando: Hard Contact stays in the here and now with the story of the mission on Qiilura but also touches lightly on more meditative ideas such as the life of a Clone, the new role of the Jedi in the galaxy, and Mando honor. It does all of this at a nice clip, and all the while Ms. Traviss creates some interesting characters who I enjoyed spending time with and couldn’t help but want to spend more time with when the novel was finished.

I suppose that’s the best place to start, because one area of great contention among Star Wars fans would be the Clones. It’s obvious that Ms. Traviss and I share the same view of the Clones, as well as how the Jedi treat them. The Clones are people, the same as any other living, breathing, being in the universe and the Jedi are nothing more than willing slave owners. Now, now, now, settle down for a second, that second part isn’t touched on in Republic Commando: Hard Contact so I’ll leave it there for now, but trust me we will return to that in future novels. The first part however is a major part of Republic Commando: Hard Contact, as the secondary layer of the novel is about the main characters becoming their own person. In the case of the Clones, Darman, Fi, Niner and Atin it’s not just about becoming their own person but Ms. Traviss is able to infuse them with life so that their dilemma of how they are viewed versus who they actually are becomes a tangible thing. Etain also gets to grow as a character, a lot, and the time spent with Ghez Hokan is nice, but character wise Republic Commando: Hard Contact is all about the growth of the Clones.

As much as I am a history buff, I’ve never claimed to be a genius when it comes to strict military history. I can tell you what happened at historical battles and whether or not some moves were smart, but I’m not a tactician. That may be why I enjoyed the tactical aspect of Republic Commando: Hard Contact so much. Ms. Traviss crafts a narrative that feels very tactical, but is tactical on a level that the layman can understand. I probably didn’t need to know all of the information she relayed as far as the tactical side went, but it never felt like I was being given too much information or info that was over my level of understanding.

Based on the first paragraph of this review I’m confident none of you saw my review of Republic Commando: Hard Contact coming to this end, did you? That’s right, I am going to highly recommend this novel, even if you aren’t a fan of Karen Traviss’ writing I see no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy this particular novel. Republic Commando: Hard Contact is a good character novel and a good action novel, it’s a good novel period, and yes, I did just say that about a Karen Traviss novel, so by all means this is a Star Wars novel you need to check out if you haven’t already.

Rating:

B+

Cheers,
Bill

And thus this endeavor comes to an end, and with the loss of a life to boot!

Like usual for proper acquaintance with what is actually going on you first need to check out Edgar’s Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi review over at Between The Seats.

So it has come to this Edgar, the almost final entry in our little marathon, a little marathon that crushed the hopes and dreams of cinephiles the universe over. Well, okay, maybe not, but it is almost the end of our little marathon and if there’s one thing I know it is that in this final rebuttal I plan on putting you in your place once and for all.

Okay, my first salvo was turned away by you really easily, like scarily easily, because I can’t find any fault in your problems with the lack of imagination in having another Death Star be the big secret weapon. I never really thought of it before, I guess my Star Wars brain was just willing to go along with the idea of another Death Star, but you are correct, it is a rehashing of an already used idea and shows a decided lack of imagination on the part of Mr. Lucas and company. Just as the new Death Star having the same weakness as the old Death Star is another example of creative thinking not being present. However, unlike you I did feel the tension in Han, Chewie and Leia’s exploits on the moon of Endor, even if those fucking Ewoks do their best to muck it all up.

Dammit all to hell, your stupid lightsaber molded in the shape of a hockey stick stopped my next assault as well. Yes, the Ewoks defeating the Empire as they do is a god damn atrocity, and one that no justification can ever be made for, ever, do you hear me people! Yes, Boba Fett’s “death” is, well, less than befitting such a cool character. And that musical sequence is pure crap, pure unadulterated crap. But, what’s that I see, you clearly haven’t been practicing your lightsaber form enough, because I see a slight chink creeping into your attacks.

Endor doesn’t need to be as exotic as the other planets we have seen thus far in the saga, I’d even take it a step further and say that it shouldn’t be. While every other film in the saga is about big events and the impact they have on the world around them I would say that Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi presents a story that is much more singularly focused and personal. The moon is just a backdrop, the real action is on that Death Star, the more I think about it the more I believe that everything that happens outside of that massive battle station is mere window dressing. And there is no way that the sequence in Jabba’s Palace and the outskirts of Tatooine to anywhere near the action we get later in the film when Luke finally takes up his lightsaber against his father. I believe the fact that you even thought as such has opened up a gash on your left leg all on its own, for shame…

Now you’re just messing with me right, there’s no way you would actually leave your defenses down like that? Han Solo not being Han Solo? Harrison Ford not giving a Harrison Ford type performance? I guffaw at such a notion kind sir, I simply guffaw. I saw the same wit, the same energy, exuberance and love for the character from Ford in Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi as I saw in the rest of the films. You better take care of that grip tightening around your throat, unless you want to be Force choked?

I’m sorry that I popped your larynx, I really am, but c’mon now, calling the Luke/Vader/Palpatine sequence plain and not all that fun, what did you think was going to happen? That scene is the one time in the film when I think the director, Richard Marquand, actually shows off some skill. The score certainly helps, but all of the action on the Death Star is deeply personal yet at the same time carries a heavy magnitude with it, every lightsaber swing or refusal to pick up a lightsaber feels like it could signal the end for one side or the other. Oops, there goes one of your arms, my bad…

In our greatest of duels, it has come down to this, I stand before you with the killing stroke at the ready. The question then becomes, am I a Jedi who will spare you or a Sith who will end you? Alas, there is a third option, because I believe in neither of those philosophies, instead I am a follower of the Potentium, because you see, there is only one Force, there isn’t a dark or light side but simply a Force that is influenced, molded, and shaped by those who use it. That’s why I must tell you Edgar, this has been a blast, but I am one crotchety motherfucker and it’s about time for you to lose your head altogether…

You can check out Edgar’s rebuttal over at Between The Seats.

Cheers,
Bill

If Yoda was still around, how exactly are the Jedi returning?

Screenplay By: Lawrence Kasdan & George Lucas
Directed By: Richard Marquand

It’s always been hard for me to watch Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi. Coming off of the extreme high of Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, otherwise known as the most epic movie ever made, there was very little chance that Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi wouldn’t be anything but a letdown. It certainly does try, and it feels like Star Wars, but it can’t match that previous high and thus no matter how much it tries it can never be good enough. It is in all but production order, the middle child of the family, it can do some things greater than the oldest or youngest child, but because it has to follow directly in the footsteps of its overachieving older sibling it’s always going to get the shaft so to speak.

It’s also a bit harder to write about Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi, and that has nothing to do with any of the previous films but with the structure of Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi itself. The last thirty to forty minutes of Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi really grabbed me and drew me in to what was happening on screen, yes, even the Ewoks. The problem, however, is all those preceding minutes that are formulaic and seem to exist only to buy time until the final moments. It’s a bit of a rough haul, that first hour and a half. We know where the story is going and the wrap-up effect that the screenplay goes into, “This is the final movie in the saga, we have to tie up as many loose ends as possible, so let’s tie this bow nicely, and then this one, and then this one before we get to the finale,” makes that haul even more tedious. I know I sound harsh, and I am being a bit harsh, but with each new viewing of Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi the first two-thirds of the film take on a more and more tedious feel.

Let’s take a break from the negativity for a second, and I’m going to do so by letting my readers at The Domain Of Nihilus know that I do have issues with Vader becoming a Force Ghost, the way Yoda and Ben treat Luke like an assassin and a few other meta subjects. But, as I said in a previous film review, I’m going to save my thoughts on those subjects for other avenues from the Expanded Universe.

One last major area of negativity before I move on to what I liked about Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi, the character of Leia Organa. In my review of Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith I took George Lucas and company to task for what they did to Padmé’s character. Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi leaves Leia in much the same neutered state. No, Leia was never quite as independent or as strong of a character as her mother was portrayed as, but she was still her own woman. In Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi, her independent streak is gone, replaced by a rather meek character who exists only for information to be expressed by either Han or Luke. Although, as chauvinistic as it may be, she did look smoking hot in the slave outfit!

Okay, negativity go away, let’s dig into what I liked about Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi. I already talked a bit about those final forty or so minutes, but the reason I love them so much and why in the end they make this movie for me is because it is about the redemption of a character I really love. The action is still there, the wit is present, the sense of epic has returned, but more than any of that the finale is about bringing a hero back from the brink. Good triumphs over evil, Vader redeems himself and finally finds an avenue for himself other than self-hatred.

That does bring us to an interesting dilemma, the lightsaber duel between Vader and Luke. It is perhaps my favorite duel of the entire saga, this and the Obi-Wan/Anakin duel from Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith switch places for me after every viewing, and the reason for that resides in how emotionally charged the atmosphere of this duel is. As a physical display it works fine and is structured well, but the true greatness in the duel can be found in the atmosphere the score and the emotions present in the duel create. The dilemma I spoke of comes out in the fact that Vader loses to Luke. I’m sorry, but no amount of arguing will ever convince me that Vader didn’t hold back in this duel, and I think it’s thematically important that he does hold back. Vader holding back represents the conflict that is raging within him, with each lightsaber strike a little bit of Vader leaves and more of Anakin seeps back in. Yes, Vader does hold back, but if he doesn’t hold back then the theme of redemption falls apart.

Deserving is the word I will leave you with. Most of the sentences I wrote in my notebook while watching Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi had the word deserving in them. “Boba Fett deserves a better end (I know he’s still alive but you know what I mean)”, “The Empire deserves more than to lose to a bunch of fur balls”, “Leia’s character deserved more,” and so on. I like Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi, it is a fun movie and a nice return to the universe of Star Wars but ultimately it is my least favorite film of the entire saga because I as a fan deserved so much more.

That is that, I know I still have a rebuttal to go, but it is a bit of a downer knowing that Edgar’s thoughts on this movie will represent the finality of our marathon, but either way I look forward yet again to reading what Edgar has to say.

You can check out Edgar’s review at Between The Seats.

Rating:

B-

Cheers,
Bill

What do you do when you have nothing to rebut?

You should know the drill by now, but just in case make sure to head over to Between The Seats and read what Edgar has to say so you know why I’m saying what I be saying.

I committed the fatal error of reading Edgar’s rebuttal for Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back before writing my own. That has made an already hard situation into the near impossible. What do you write in a rebuttal when you and the person you’re conversing with agree on everything and had not a single note of disconnect in your original reviews? That was my first problem, and trust me, things were bad enough when that was all I had to deal with. What do you write when your partner in crime has gone ahead and written a hilarious rebuttal, one that you can’t hope to top no matter how hard you try? Problem number two rears its ugly head, and I am at a loss.

This is my conundrum, my quandary, the state of my being as I sit here in front of my laptop drawing blanks when it comes to ideas for material. Alas, facts are facts, and the fact is that you have won this round Edgar. I couldn’t hope to come close to the originality or humor found in our fictional conversation, so I’m not going to even try. All I can do is let you know that I am happy that we were in agreement about Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back as much as we were. That’s really all I have, I agree with every point you made, and I have nothing to offer in return.

I know this wasn’t what our rebuttals were intended to be, but sometimes you have to go with the flow, and the flow in this case is heading towards a Canadian victory. Great work in your review Edgar and splendid work in your rebuttal, it was a blast getting owned by you as badly as I was in said rebuttal. For the time being your Taun-Taun’s own the battlefield, but with Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi I have an entirely new slew of AT-AT’s on their way to crush you once and for all!

You can read Edgar’s wonderful rebuttal at Between The Seats.

Cheers,
Bill

I honestly don’t know who would win between Yoda and R2-D2! Sure, Yoda is a Jedi, but R2 is the ultimate bad ass of the entire saga, this is so perplexing!

Screenplay By: Leigh Brackett & Lawrence Kasdan
Directed By: Irvin Kershner

One of the definitions of the word epic as supplied by Dictionary.com reads as follows;

“heroic; majestic; impressively great“.

That is their definition of the word epic, now I am going to enlighten you as to what my definition of epic is;

“AT-AT’s appearing through the scope of a pair of Rebel binoculars : The space battle over Hoth between the Millennium Falcon and the Imperial forces : Yoda and R2-D2 square off and the world is shaken to its very core : The Emperor makes his first appearance : Boba Fett speaks and acts like a bad ass without even trying : Is that the back of Darth Vader’s head? What is going on with that thing? : I’ll see your Hoth and raise you a Bespin : Force chokes all over the place : Luke, I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!!!!”.

Not to sound cocky, but I do believe my definition of epic is a tad better than the standard version. It’s also as succinct of a review of Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back as anyone should ever require. If after watching this film you don’t read that paragraph and nod along with every epic moment I just described then I don’t know what to say other than Star Wars may not be your thing (of course others have said the same thing to me concerning my dislike of the original Star Wars film so what do I know?).

I don’t want to drive this point into the ground any more than I have to, but I can’t stress to you how god damn epic Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is. There are tales that are legendary, stories passed down from generation to generation that tell of grand quests and massive battles, of heroes and villains, of the fight to save humanity and the need to destroy it. Those stories are epic, they understand their level of import, they realize that they don’t exist as quaint little tales, they are the tales that bully around all others on the playground. Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is an epic tale like that, from the get go it smacks you in the face with its epicness (yes, I just made that up and to hell with you if you don’t like my awesome new word), and it never once lets up. It’s a thrill ride and a half, but it is a thrill ride of the largest magnitude and it knows this. Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is big, bombastic, over the top, glorious and most of all, it is an epic fucking masterpiece.

If the swearing didn’t give it away, I get really jazzed when talking about this, my favorite of all the Star Wars films. I’m not going to run down the list of epic occurrences again, but do me a favor and scroll back up real quick and give that list in the form of a definition a gander again and then come back….. Isn’t that just some of the most awesome stuff you have ever read, doesn’t thinking about those things just turn you into a drooling fanboy? I know that it has that effect on me and that is the effect that the entirety of Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back has on me. From beginning to end I watch the moving pictures pass in front of my eyes with an intensity that borders on a sickness. This is the film that has always defined Star Wars for me, and as much of an oxymoron as this statement may be, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back gets what Star Wars is all about. It goes big and it doesn’t look back, doesn’t allow time for rumination or thought to take place. You swim along deeper and deeper into its ocean because that is all it allows you to do.

I don’t know what else I can say, and no matter what I say, or type as the case may be, I can guarantee you that I will inundate you with superlative after superlative in support of this picture. I don’t want to say that the world of Star Wars has never been as harmonious as it is in Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, there are some other novels, comics and games that I think reach this zenith as well, but there isn’t another film in the saga that comes close. Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back combines the mythos of the universe, with a deep and interesting story, action galore, characters that we care about and relationships so honest and real that they strain the tear ducts of even the most iron clad man. But, it doesn’t end there, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back has a massive twist, one that still hits me in the gut every time I see it, and that is a testament to the film because after years of being immersed in the Star Wars universe and having seen Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back countless times that moment of reveal shouldn’t still impact me the way it does. On and on and on and on I could go, literally, I really mean it, there is no shortage of glaringly positive things I have to say about Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

I know I’ve tossed a boatload of hyperbole your way, but there are some movies that justify the hyperbole and I believe Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is one of those movies. I’ve said so many nice things about the film already, but really, this is the Star Wars film to end all Star Wars films we are talking about. I know that anyone reading this review should have seen it, and I know the majority will agree with my lavish praise. I don’t have to tell you to see Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, I don’t have to recommend this film to you. My words, no matter how much I may like them, can’t do justice to the experience that is Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. So don’t take my word for it, go pop in your DVD and watch Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back for the umpteenth time and remember why you love movies in the first place.

I only wonder if Edgar will share my love or burn me with his reaction, we shall see, shan’t we?

Edgar’s review can be found at Between The Seats.

Rating:

P

Cheers,
Bill

If you haven’t let me by this point, well, I salute you, but now it’s time for me to slog on Episode IV: A New Hope some more, sorry!

First things first, to make sure you know what I’m talking about head over to Between The Seats and check out Edgar’s review of Episode IV: A New Hope.

When you and I talked about doing a Star Wars marathon I knew this day would come, the day when you and I were in almost complete disagreement over one of the films. I think you had an inkling this day would come, because for as long as you have known me I have never shied away from letting you know my rather unique feelings towards Episode IV: A New Hope Still, I’m not sure if you were quite ready for the vitriol with which I went after Episode IV: A New Hope, or that I had so many areas in which I would attack. From my end, your review was also a bit different from what I expected, I knew that you would like Episode IV: A New Hope, but I always figured you’d fall in line with the masses and lavish so much praise upon the film that I would want to throw up. Instead you were even handed in your praise, and that makes this rebuttal all the more interesting.

The first point you made in your review creates a bit of a quandary within me. On the one hand I agree with you, Episode IV: A New Hope does breeze through too many events. This goes back to the idea of weight or importance and if the film doesn’t feel the need to allow its important moments to resonate on screen then why should they resonate in my mind? The quandary comes into play with your take on Episode IV: A New Hope as both a simple film and one that moves at a brisk pace. I can’t agree with either of those sentiments at all. Episode IV: A New Hope wants to be simple, and it’s core story is simple, but it loads up on so much exposition and needless backstory that the end product is far from simple, it’s actually far too complex for its own good. This in turns creates a hulking beast, a monstrosity of a film that moves at the speed of a slug, and not a skinny slug either, but a fat one that just finished eating dinner. I don’t know where you see a brisk pace, because I see a film that slogs from moment to moment with each minute feeling like an eternity and the run time of two hours feeling like it never wants to end.

On the subject of the climax, I again disagree and agree at the same time. Yes, the corridor weakness in the Death Star is stupid, but I expect that kind of stupid in my pulp from time to time, so that has never been a big deal to me. You do raise an interesting point about Vader and his squadron, a point I’ve never thought about. I always assumed that Vader and his squadron either had some sort of stealth or were simply that much better than the Rebel pilots, but there’s nothing in the film to suggest either of my extrapolations so you may be on to something. I can’t, however, say you are on to something with the exterior shots of the Death Star. I wouldn’t call those shots revolutionary or anything, but to my untrained eye they look more than adequate, and after going back and taking another look at that sequence I still fail to see anything in those exterior shots that stands out to me as bad. Hmmm….

I do believe there was a bit of a communication error in my review of Episode IV: A New Hope as it pertains to the characters around Luke. It’s not that I didn’t find them interesting, I did, it’s that I didn’t find the story taking place around them all that interesting. So with that in mind I can’t add much to your piece on the interesting characters, other than to say that while I also don’t think much of Mark Hamill as a physical actor, he is a truly great voice actor. His Joker is the best Joker ever and is a million times better than any other Joker, yes, even Ledger’s.

Your remaining points are all ones that I agree with, from James Earl Jones to the life that Lucas infuses into the background of every scene in Episode IV: A New Hope. I know I should be disagreeing with you, but I can’t, what you say in your final couple of paragraphs is pretty spot on. My problem comes in those facets that work not being able to overcome the facets that don’t work. I know it’s not much, but at the end of the day I think that’s the best way for me to end this rebuttal. A lot of what worked for you didn’t work for me, and in a major way. That is where the large gulf comes between us I think, little things bugged you about Episode IV: A New Hope and they remained little nuisances, but for me every little problem was magnified and made into a major hurdle by my lack of interest in what I was seeing on screen. I’m not going to say we will agree to disagree, but this is clearly one film where I don’t foresee you and I ever seeing eye to eye, oh the awesomeness of my wit.

And that’s it folks, another rebuttal is in the books and that’s another round you can chalk up to Bill. There’s no denying it Edgar, once again you were beaten down by the mighty sword of my wit, choked by the hand around your throat that is my power. You fought well, but on the sands of Tatooine there can be only one man left standing, and I am that man.

You can read Edgar’s rebuttal to my review at Between The Seats.

Cheers,
Bill

I know this blog has very few readers as it is, but I’m pretty sure this review will drive away those same very few!

Written By: George Lucas
Directed By: George Lucas

Here we go, this is my moment of eternal damnation, the moment when I will utter a sentence that will turn most sentient beings, and definitely every franchise (by the way for the purposes of this review I will refer to the Star Wars franchise simply as “the franchise” to avoid confusion with the actual movie title) fan, against me. I do not like Episode IV: A New Hope! I never have really, even if I did have a two or so year period where I lied and tried to convince myself that I had to like it, I couldn’t be a franchise fan and not like this film, right? But, I am who I am and the more I thought about it, the more I watched it, the more it became obvious to me that I do not like Episode IV: A New Hope.

There are certainly elements of Episode IV: A New Hope that I like, nay, love. The entire sequence of the break from the prison cell on the Death Star up until right before the showdown with Darth Vader is primo, primo stuff. The same is true of the first appearance of Vader and the Stormtroopers, or of the final battle sequence over Yavin. I wish I could distill a film out of those sequences and those sequences alone, because everything else is so, so grating to me. Episode IV: A New Hope is a clear case of a movie that is on when it is on and off when it is off.

I won’t deny that in terms of sound, world design , and special effects, Episode IV: A New Hope is a great film. It’s easily the best pre-1980′s film I’ve seen in regards to those three categories, and there are films to this very day that can’t come close to matching Episode IV: A New Hope at those aspects.

The question then becomes, what didn’t Bill like about Episode IV: A New Hope? I’ve written some praise, some very high praise in fact, so what exactly is it that irks this Chicagoan so much about Episode IV: A New Hope?

Let’s begin with possibly my biggest pet peeve in the entire film, it never makes me care. I had no emotional investment with any of the characters because the film was so busy with plodding exposition about what made up the fantasy land of Episode IV: A New Hope instead of giving time to its characters. Ben Kenobi should matter, but his death is a nothing event for me, he’s just an old man that Luke knew for a few days and the movie never did a single thing to heighten him in my eyes so when he does bite the dust I could care less. I firmly believe that Vader became iconic based on image alone, because outside of his image and one Force choke the movie spends as little time as possible giving his character any meat. Sure, Han is cool, the Princess is pretty hot but kind of annoying, and Chewbacca is Chewbacca. But, that leaves us with a protagonist in the form of Luke Skywalker who is a whiny bitch and annoying to boot. I didn’t want to root for him, about twenty minutes into the film I wanted Vader to swoop in from the skies and kill the little fucker, that’s how much he annoyed me in this film.

As you will recall in my Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith review I lauded praise upon the lightsaber duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan. The duel between Vader and Kenobi in Episode IV: A New Hope gives me the chance to go in the opposite direction. My problems with this particular duel are twofold, 1) as previously mentioned there’s no investment in either character, so despite the build-up to the duel being kind of okay the actual duel fails to draw me in because of said lack of investment. But mostly my problems reside in 2) it’s two old guys standing still and gently moving their lightsabers towards one another. It’s not dramatic, it’s not exciting, it looks atrocious. I don’t need flips and acrobatics, or the best duel ever put to celluloid, but I do need some sense of action and something to pull me into the battle, the duel in Episode IV: A New Hope had neither and is easily the worst duel in all of the franchise saga.

I know I sound like a depressing hit parade by this point, just as I know that most of you have balled your hands into fists and proclaimed me an idiot twenty times over already. Sadly, I am not done, although we’re almost there. If I had to pick out the one facet of Episode IV: A New Hope that has always bugged me it is the frivolous nature of the entire film. This goes back to the lack of investment in the story and characters, these are supposed to be matters of import that are taking place but the film glosses over every event so quickly that they feel far too light and happenstance to be worth much of anything.

Wait a minute, hold the presses, forget everything I’ve said before this, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I have fallen asleep every single time I’ve tried to give Episode IV: A New Hope a go. It has some great action set pieces, but it frames those set pieces around so much boring exposition. The film is content to move at a snail’s pace, overloading the audience with a lot of unnecessary information, and by the time it gets to something designed to wake the audience up I am usually legitimately asleep. I know not a lot of people are fans of the boring complaint when it comes to films, but I don’t think a sci-fi adventure film should bore me, yet Episode IV: A New Hope does and that is why above all the other reasons I have never been a fan of Episode IV: A New Hope.

Each and every time I watch Episode IV: A New Hope I want to love it, I want to be an Episode IV: A New Hope fan. Yet, it’s apparently never to be, with each viewing I move further and further away from even liking the film. I know I am intensely in the minority, but I know what I like and I know that I don’t like Episode IV: A New Hope. All I can say is thank goodness I saw Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back first.

Check out Edgar’s review at Between The Seats.

Rating:

D+

Cheers,
Bill

I’m hoping I can make something out of this rebuttal, but after reading Edgar’s review again I’m not sure if there will be any words of dissent contained within!

I forgot to do this last time because, well, I’m an idiot. But, make sure to check out Edgar’s review of Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith over at Between The Seats before you read what follows, otherwise you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about.

Wow, I am literally speechless. Well, I’m still going to write a bunch of malarkey, but I have read your review four times now Edgar, and no matter how hard I try I can’t find a single place where I disagree with you. I know this isn’t good for the actual rebuttal portion of our joint marathon, but if our rebuttals are less than stellar because we agreed instead of dissented then I have no problem with that. Whether it’s what you said about Lucas’ direction in this film, the quickness of Anakin’s turn, the ferocity of the final stretch or the idiocy of the Jedi, I agree wholeheartedly. Who would have thought that two people with relatively strong opinions would agree completely, at least in terms of what you wrote, about a Star Wars film of all films, and in a positive way no less?

I’m actually pretty darn happy that you liked Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith a lot. Sure, a rebuttal full of disagreements and jokey name calling would have been more fun to read, but the Star Wars fan in me is more happy with the fact that you really liked the film in question. Not only that, but you gave me a few things to think about, and honestly that’s been one of my favorite aspects of these reviews.

It’s no secret that I am very much an anti-George Lucas guy, yet when you talked about his directorial style it suddenly clicked for me that a major reason I love Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith is because of the corpulent one’s direction. All these years I had allowed my dislike of a single man to blind me to what he does in this film to make it that much better. Staying on faces for a few seconds longer, how the long, almost plaintive takes create even more mood in the picture. Lucas was really on the top of his game in terms of direction in Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith, so much so that I would go so far as to say it is easily the best film he was ever behind the camera for.

One thing you touched on that has always been a strident point of mine is the rigid and nonsensical beliefs and actions of the Jedi. I’m not going to go into great detail about that here, there are more Expanded Universe sources that I feel are better avenues for this discussion, but I couldn’t agree with you more. Most Star Wars fans disagree with me, most do so violently as well, but the points you make illustrate perfectly why I have never been a fan of the Jedi and why I can never get behind their way of life or how they choose to view the Force.

I know this rebuttal wasn’t that long, or confrontational in any way, but this is what happens when I am in complete agreement with your take on the film. Maybe you’ll disagree with a few of my points, but either way it was a joy to read your review and finally hear from someone who enjoyed Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith as much as I did. Your ability to vocalize, or typealize, the sound reasons for your thoughts was a refreshing change of pace from the usual “it’s great”, “it sucks, you’re a moron,” exchanges that I am subject to when talking about Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. But, remember, even when we agree I can still call it like I see it and let the world know just how much of a jerkface you really are, jerkface.

You can read Edgar’s rebuttal at Between The Seats.

Cheers,
Bill

I’m still not sure what it is exactly the Sith were seeking revenge for but I’m going to assume it was something bad!

Written By: George Lucas
Directed By: George Lucas

Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith continues an upward trend in the Star Wars franchise of films. I liked Episode I: The Phantom Menace, and I really liked Episode II: Attack Of The Clones but I pretty much love Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. It’s not a perfect movie, but in the vein of what I expect and want from the world of Star Wars it is oh so close to perfection. I was quite surprised by the amount of backlash that this particular film received, I mean I could understand the problems people had with a few areas, but on the whole I was never able to understand why so many people outright hated this film. That is I wasn’t able to understand the detractors until I undertook this viewing of Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith.

At about the halfway point it clicked for me, Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith is the story of the downfall of a hero. Whether or not the film works for you is dependent on you as the viewer buying this: “Anakin Skywalker, Hero.” I understand why this was such a hard buy for a lot of people, but it wasn’t for me, and that may be thanks to all the Expanded Universe material I have read or watched that has, ahem, expanded on Anakin’s character. Still, even without such outside sources I do believe that Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith does a more than adequate job by itself of portraying Anakin as the conflicted hero and making the film be all about his fall. On this viewing of Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith what I most took away was how much Anakin ends up hating himself, how that is what will drive his character in all the years to come, and why he is able to end up taking on such an evil bent. The scene where he yells “I hate you,” at Obi-Wan is perhaps my favorite moment in the entire film. When Anakin yells those words he isn’t yelling them at Obi-Wan, rather Obi-Wan is merely the recipient for all of Anakin’s self-hatred. I realize I am probably on an island by myself with this particular reading but the more I think about it the more it makes perfect sense to me.

The fact that Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith ties itself so much into Anakin’s fall does bring about one of its larger misfires. Prior to this entry in the saga I would have argued that Padmé Amidala was a much stronger female character than her daughter ever was in the original trilogy. Sadly this movie ruins all of that and reduces what was a strong independent character into nothing more than a prop for Anakin’s feelings and ultimately turns her into an abhorrent character that no one can root for. She’s lost the will to live my ass!

Something I noticed about Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith the first time I watched it that still holds true to this viewing was the way George Lucas made this his big splashy picture. What I mean by that is that Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith is constructed much like an old school comic book, each frame is full of some sort of vibrant or loud color, even the darker tones stand out, and each image is meticulously crafted so that every centimeter of the screen is filled with some little bit of importance. The dialogue is also constructed in the typical pulp style where not a lot is said but what is said is big and bombastic and sounds like the most important thing that character could ever say. It’s not an easy aesthetic to take in as it flies in the face of much of what we are taught to think of as “great” cinema, but I love the style Lucas chose to employ in Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith.

Contrary to what I said earlier in this review, I don’t think I can actually peg down one moment that stood out as the best moment for me. I can say though that I think two scenes/moments represent the pinnacle of George Lucas’ career as a director. First is the scene of Anakin and Padmé staring at each other across Coruscant just as Anakin makes the decision that will seal his fate forever. I don’t think Lucas has ever been more on his game than in that scene, getting the actors to play it perfectly, picking the right music and setting a tone that gets me every time. Despite my love of Star Wars I’ve never thought much of Lucas as a director, but in that scene he showed me something.

The next pinnacle for Lucas wasn’t so much a pinnacle for Lucas as it was a pinnacle for the entire Star Wars creative team and this time I am speaking of the final battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Not only does it have the emotional resonance found in the second greatest lightsaber duel in the saga, to be revealed at a later date, but it is the most action packed and tells the most story within its action. All you need to know about Anakin, Obi-Wan and their relationship can be found in that duel and it never fails to get me going or leave me staring at my screen in pure bliss. When I think of what is coming up next in terms of lightsaber duels I can only sigh at how large the drop off in quality will be.

Once again, there’s no need for me to actually talk about the CG work, the sound design or the costumes, all are stellar as only LucasFilm can provide. And, as much as I would like to get into how Yoda’s meditation scene with Anakin really irks me and provides a lot of fuel for my anti-Jedi leanings, I will save that for when I get to the novelization. I know, I know, I am a tease, but sometimes a little tease is a good thing.

I know there is plenty that I didn’t touch on, the excellent fall of the Jedi montage and Darth Vader’s cringe inducing “No!” for starters, but I believe I touched on all the areas that adequately present my feelings on Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. As much as I liked Episode II: Attack Of The Clones, this is the best film of the prequel trilogy and when all is said and done I am sure many of you will hold a hand over their mouth aghast at where I place it in the overall saga. Let me reiterate, Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith isn’t a perfect movie, nor is it a movie whose presentation and aesthetic style will work for everyone. But, it is a movie that I love and a prime example of the mythic storytelling found in Star Wars that has always captivated me. I’ll be most interested to find out where Edgar falls on Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith, then again I’ve been just as interested to see what Edgar thought of the other two films in the marathon so far, so maybe I should stop talking now.

Check out Edgar’s review at Between The Seats.

Rating:

A

Cheers,
Bill

It’s time for me to respond to what Edgar said, and respond I shall!

I’m going to begin this rebuttal with one simple statement, Edgar, you are a fucking moron and completely wrong in everything you say!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, you mean that’s not the way civilized people handle discourse? It’s possible to have differing opinions and still find places to agree, or even in some cases agree on most aspects of a film but disagree every now and then? I don’t know man, I think you and I may be doing this whole duel marathon thing wrong Edgar, because all I ever read on the internet is a lot of name calling and third grade level drivel when people are debating the merits of any movie. Obviously I know not all people are this way, but I need to make a point and this colorful introduction struck me as the best way to do it.

I’m sure that a lot of people thought this Star Wars marathon would end up like an old fashioned internet hoedown, but Edgar and I happen to be pretty cool with one another and are civilized adults, well I’m more like an eighth grader acting like an adult but that’s close enough. I’m not going to come on here and call Edgar an idiot or run down his opinion, and guess what, this time I don’t have much to disagree with. It is amazing that people can discuss movies in such a fashion, all these years various internet message boards have steered me wrong!

Okay, my less than brilliant opening is out of the way, and that leaves me with very little to discuss. Edgar is much better than I at waxing poetic on every little thing I say, so I have no doubt his rebuttal of my review will contain much more meat. For my part I can simply say I agree. I agree with what you had to say about the scope of Episode II: Attack Of The Clones, about the tone of the film, about the setting, about the adult nature of it all, and so on and so forth. It’s sad on my part I know, but I do agree with almost every point you made, and that leaves me with very little to add to the pot. Great minds often think alike, and clearly in this case we are the two greatest minds thinking alike in the best way.

However, I do disagree on a few things. Firstly there is your disappointment with the Anakin and Padmé love story. I believe my reasoning for liking it was illustrated in my initial review. The only thing I can add to what I said in that review is that where you see a lack of chemistry I see a relationship that works. It’s not the best, nor are they the brightest or the most smoldering hot, but I buy that relationship and I especially buy, and really like, the moments before the Geonosis arena. It really is that simple, what you don’t see I do, and it’s in the way Anakin never gives up and keeps going after Padmé until she does relent. Her relenting comes in my eyes because of the faults Anakin shows, because we all know that women love a man they can fix, and that’s definitely how I think Padmé views Anakin. Do the actors provide a tour de force, no, but I thought they were honest in their portrayal of this relationship and that’s why I bought it so willingly. But, like I said, I covered most of this in my initial review so there’s no need for me to keep on babbling.

I believe our biggest point of contention comes in the form of a little green alien. On the one hand I believe you and I are in agreement that the CG-ification of Yoda is a good move. I think we are also in agreement that Yoda finally showcasing his powers is a good thing. Feel free to correct me on either of these if I am assuming wrong, I am an ass after all. Where we differ is in the actual fighting we get to see from our little green friend. I can see what you are saying about Yoda being a blur and in effect appearing like a tiny blob instead of some kind of ultimate Jedi warrior. I don’t know though, I never had any problem following Yoda’s movements and I thought his hyper-kinetic style was a nice way of going against his aged and fragile appearance. The entirety of Yoda’s existence in the films has been based on the premise of first assumptions being incorrect and appearances being deceiving. Not only is his fight against Count Dooku a nice little piece of action film making, but it furthers the first assumption theme.

I know it’s not much, and I won’t be surprised when I read your rebuttal to discover that you have once again brought more to the table than I. But, this is what I have to offer, this is what happens when you and I agree on ninety percent of the film in question. I’d like to say though that I kicked your ass in this rebuttal, because we know that I did, so deny it all you want but your ass has been kicked and you are, as always, completely wrong!

Read Edgar’s rebuttal over at Between The Seats.

Cheers,
Bill